Five Hundred Twenty Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes

(In) Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?

In truths that she learned
Or in times that he cried
In bridges he burned or the way that she died

It's time now, to sing out
Though the story never ends
Let's celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends

- Jonathan Larson (Seasons of Love-RENT)

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes make a year. And that’s exactly how long ago I set foot in Czech Republic. Walking through the streets of Pardubice today I was reminded of the thoughts that went through my mind when I first saw these buildings and so many white people at once. While the thoughts have become vague I clearly remember the expectations I came to Europe with. I was convinced that I was here to learn. Not just about the things I had come here to study but about people, cultural difference and how to go about in the world. Looking back, I can say that had his year not happened I would not have known what a roller-coaster ride really means.

Time really flew. When I went to Bombay this time, at first it felt like I had not left at all. Everything seemed to be the same but before time I started noticing the little changes that had crept in owing to either my short stay abroad or the kind of insights you gain when you realize that you are not the young lady who you used to be before.

I had thought that other than the cultural difference that I would encounter in Europe, living here would be a piece of cake. Like many women of my generation I have lived away from family for over a decade now. And unlike many of them I have absolutely loved it from the very beginning and never felt homesick. I would not call what I experienced in Europe a rude shock but it is a shock nevertheless. You see, when you set out living alone anywhere in India, the kind of relationship you build with even the girl who sits at the reception desk of your college/ workplace speaks a lot about the land we come from. The tight bonds that we form do not let us feel lonely even on the loneliest of days. I am not saying that Europeans are incapable of forming such bonds but you would see them making that place only for their partners or spouses. They have close friendships too but you need to see in person and study them for a while to understand that the depth of those friendships come no where close to the kind of bond they share with their partners or the ones that we share with almost every person in our smaller circles.

Certain things finally began to make sense. I always wondered why Indians living abroad formed social groups and barely ventured out of them or why Indian friends living abroad put up pictures on Facebook only featuring them with other Indians/ Asians. We naturally gravitate towards people who have experienced and are capable of providing the same kind of closeness that we are accustomed to. It is not that Europeans are not warm towards us. It is just that they have drawn so many walls around themselves and educated us on how it is not proper to percolate those walls unless they give us the permission to. Their set rules apply not just to foreigners but to people of their land as well. Even the parents and siblings! Because right to freedom and the concept of personal space actually mean something here. And the sorry part is that we urban Indians see this as something desirable. We are like the Communists of Kerala who think no end of Communism and have no clue about the disasters that it can manifest. To them the people of the previously Communist Czech lands can say “you know no shit”.

Well, on the upside, there are so many things we need to learn from these people. Let me give you the example of a friend, who almost a decade ago decided she needed to gain some experience of independent living. So she applied for a job at Subway in Canada and lived there for a few months. Now a lot of my Indian friends have worked at Mc Donalds too but it was only to earn money to fund their tuitions. I cannot imagine any person of my age in India waking up one day saying lets go see what’s in the world out there and make plans to go live and work in Norway for a while.  We study, get degrees, jobs, slog and slog and hoard savings for a rainy day that in most cases never comes. The saying “live life like there is no tomorrow” is something we understand only because Shahrukh Khan immortalized it when he said Kal Ho Na Ho. Yes, blowing up all your savings is not a good idea but investing a part of it in things that would add to making your life memorable is worth it, no?

Let us learn the many things that they can teach us and add our Indian touch to it. Let us not condemn them for using toilet paper. Instead, learn to use them as well, only after the washing part though. It is necessary to keep it clean. But equally helpful if we keep it dry J